Friday, June 7, 2013

Alex's Lemonade stand- a plea for consideration

A close friend of mine is a bank manager in PA. We were emailing back and forth as we do every day and he just sent me this email: 

Today is one of my favorite days of the year.  Lemonade day.  I don't think the Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation is that big up in Massachusetts, but if you haven't heard of it, check out.  It is by far my favorite charity.  Read this link, and try not to cry (  At this bank, and the one I worked at before the merger, I've always run a lemonade stand for them.  Always on the 1st friday in June.  At my last location, I was able to bring in a few thousand at my branch, and headed up the lemonade stands for the whole company, even presenting a one of those big oversized $10,000 to Alex's family.  UBER cool.
Today, I'm in a different, poorer neighborhood with this company.  I think I've brought in a whopping $33 so far today, but I don't mind.  It all helps.  I have balloons, a table, brochures, little paper Lemons that people can sign if they contribute anything, and had this big, 15 inch tall paperback book standing up on the stand so that kids could read about Alex while their parents were banking.  So far, not a single child has arrived, but the book is missing.  Yes, someone stole a childrens book about a girl who was dying of cancer. Classy.
Please take a moment to read the above as well as go to Alex's website and read about her life. I hope you'll share this story with your friends and family. Most of all, please find it in your hearts to donate to her family! 
x's & o's 

Saturday, March 9, 2013


Escape, the Pina Colada song is a catchy little diddy. But have you ever really listened to the lyrics?
 It's about a man laying in bed while his wife (girlfriend?) sleeps next to him while he flips through the personal ads. He replies to an ad, based on the fact that the poster likes booze, fails to pay attention to the weather report, has let herself go, and is willing to settle for someone of mediocre intelligence. The man is so impressed by the low standards, he says we must meet IMMEDIATELY and gives the location.
He's sitting in the bar (likely to show how "into" the drinking he really is). His date walks into the bar and lo and behold, it's his wife/girlfriend. His girlfriend, who is there to meet another man. He, in eager expectation of meeting someone new, someone who just ... isn't his woman... and the reaction is "oh. It's you." Then they laugh. They laugh because they BOTH were about to have a random hook up with someone else... on a whim... because... Booze.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Can't take me anywhere

I was invited out to lunch with  the "cool kids" from work for one of their birthdays. The waiter brought the check and the woman sitting next to me (who happens to be shorter than me, with long curly hair in a ponytail... oh and she's black...) had asked what the total was and the waiter handed the check to me because I "had asked about it". The woman next to me said "no, that was me".
I looked at the waiter and said "common mistake- we look a lot alike. People get us confused all the time!"

Monday, March 4, 2013

Just the tib...

Ever stand over someone at their desk and you accidentally look at their junk, just as they look at you. And you know they know where your eyes just were?

In a previous life when I was at  *large insurance company name here*, I often had to speak with a guy in another department. I started referring to him as TIBs which stood for Testicular Itch Boy. EVERY time I'd go to talk to him, he'd start diggin away at his crotch like he had buried treasure in there.

I've forgotten his name by now, both because it's been many lives since but also I referred to him so often as TIBs that his name escapes me.

Til next time!
x's and o's

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Lost- one slightly used spleen. If found, please mail to

I went for a hike today and as I came back down the hill and was walking towards my car, I  saw a man walking up the path towards me with two sticks, one waving side to side. I thought "oh wow rock on lil blind man!!!"

As he passed me, I saw he had a walking stick... 
and a metal detector. 

til next time!
x's and o's

Friday, February 8, 2013

random thoughts

Watching someone do the moonwalk still amazes me and boggles my mind. How do they do that?!

Apparently I am not the only person mesmerized and boggled by this!

x's and o's

Sunday, January 20, 2013

I should not be left unsupervised part duex

I went to the mall this morning.... and the mall has this stupid entrance where if you're coming off the main strip into the mall lot, you just drive through. the opposite traffic and side traffic have stop signs and no one understands how to use the intersection.... people on the side streets just drive through and the people coming off the street will stop at the intersection and let other people go... which ticks me off massively. so I always go down the street and take the delivery entrance to the back of the mall where there's no stupid crap like that going on. and bonus- the store I shop in at that mall has its entrance at the back of the building so YAY ...
I drive into the back lot and take a right turn to find a parking spot. it's a sharp turn and some numbnut in an SUV is parked right at the edge so it's difficult to see as i turn... so I go around the corner slowly and I see this smaller SUV/crossover/douchemobile coming at me head on in my lane. I slow to almost stop and I'm looking wide eyed and kinda 'DUDE WTF?!?!?!?!' and the guy moves to his lane just in time and he starts staring at me out the window as our cars pass and starts flappin his gums as if he's bitching at ME for HIM being in MY lane! So I give him a friendly little "hello" as he passes by and as I pass the back of the car I see a sticker for security/police of some sort on the rear window but the vehicle is not otherwise marked. I pull into the first spot I find and then I see the guy take a right around the lot and comes back around to behind my car and then he stops behind my car and is checking out the car and i see him on a walkie talkie... I assume taking my plate information for ... whatever.
 I'm Totally freaked out thinking this jackass is a mall rent a cop and is taking my plates down to ticket me once I go in the mall for some made up violation or ... whatever ...
 He passes me and goes around the lot one more time... and I'm shaking like crazy ... so I pull out of the spot and leave the lot... taking a right (instead of the usual left I'd take to go home) to avoid passing the front of the mall  in case he comes out on the road and starts following me or something ... (I had watched him drive around the back of the building to go out the other side so it wasn't unrealistic!
So I'm about to just ... flip the fug out and I drive up the road a bit into the industrial park and turn into one of the complexes and drive way back and then pull in front of an office building and get out of the car ...
And me ... in my ever present infinite wisdom ... I grab my warm up jacket and put that on .. and remove the magnet bumper sticker thing from the back of my car cuz I'm thinkin ... gee he won't recognize me OR my car now that we're in disguise!!!!!

I also took off my sunglasses and fluffed my hair. I would have put a hat on but I didn't have a baseball cap in the car, only a wool one that covers my ears and can tie on ... and it was mid 50s and I think that would have been a dead give away...

While I'm parked I sent a message to my friend Brian who knows law enforcement stuff asking if he knows anyone at this mall that is a rent a cop and I tell him what happened and he tells me that I should be fine that the worse they could do is ban me from the property which ... OMG I hadn't even considered and this is the ONLY place I can go to that has my favorite store and so I'm plotting that if I get a notice banning me for flipping this guy off, I'll just park in a store lot across the street or down the street and WALK to the mall cuz ... I HAVE to go to that store!!!

What store is so important that I would consider wearing a disguise?


But not just any Talbots but their clearance warehouse where I can get jeans for 7 bucks!!!!!

In hindsight (as in, about an hour ago when my friend mentioned it) I should have called the mall directly and reported the guy for being a creeper and harassing me and/or to cover my butt if he tried to report me for something but ... well... that would almost have made sense. And also, I'm not sure what vehicle he was driving. It was not something I was familiar with at all.

Also- It may be worth noting that this all happened at the very same place as my previous mentioned escapades ... maybe it's a sign??

Til next time!
x's and o's